Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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