I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
