That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
