Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
