is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
