It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
