Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
