I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
