Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
