It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
