he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
