Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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