We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
