Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
