i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
