people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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