just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
