She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Farmville is her only friend.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
