But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
