We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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