Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i dont even know how to be here
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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