Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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