rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
