Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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