waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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