so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
