why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize