so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Randomize
