If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
