Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
