yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
