no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
