Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
