Its about making memories worth repressing
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
