you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
