On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Who died my cat blue again?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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