..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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