Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
