I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize