Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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