i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
