Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
