but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
