Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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