i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
