fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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