Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
