i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
