I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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