We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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