i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
