so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She bit a glass in half.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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