What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
