Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
