Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
a search helicopter?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
