jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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