You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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