I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want nice things and good sex
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
