I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
