my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
