I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
